Minerva McGonagall's Diary
by pennypotter128
Summary: Recently been obsessed with Bridget Jones so thought of making Minerva's Diary and life similar to Bridget's..contain young McGonagall as legal advisor at wizagnamot so it's a magic diary like thing..rated T for language..don't own anything & it's fun.
1. Chapter 1

**Minerva McGonagall's Diary**

An/-was just reading Bridget Jones for good knows what time and I thought...wouldn't it be cool if Minerva were a Bridget like character, yea it would so here you are Bridget Jones with a little changes and lots of magic...I give you Minerva McGonagall's Diary.

Disclaimer- J.K.R is my heroine and the Harry Potter series the best thing ever written in the history of popular culture. Also Helen fielding has written about my future life so I don't know if this should be a disclaimer ...but since she'd published it... a big hmph to her...kidding Helen, I love Bridget, she's awesome!

Dedication- This one is dedicated to my bestest best friend in the world-Ruch, I love you and because your no less a Bridget yourself.

**Chapter 1**

**The beginning **

**December 31**

Another year and as always I have to drag myself to mother's bloody old folks party, I mean shouldn't I, an eligible 28 year old wizagnamot legal advisor be going to some kind of fun young party or something...but cannot help it since it is party organised by one's sodding parents and one's parents sodding friends, where I have spent life's most embarrassing moments as my mother tries to fix me up with some random blokes, some which look even worse than Alastor Moody my Auror friend whose face is mostly pits and scars and Alastor's are actually war scars so I guess they attract women to some extent but he's engaged to my best friend Poppy so he better not cheat on some random girl. Nah- he would never cheat he loves her a lot. Hopefully!

Anyways, I reached the party fifty minutes late and got a few glares from some people I have never bloody seen in my life, but they act as if they know me as the unpunctual diva who walks in at whatever time she feels like. Diva my arse, haven't got a boyfriend since past three years, if was diva would have had a boyfriend to boss around, by the way wouldn't boss around boyfriend if get one because I'm not a diva.

"Minerva," says Mum, her normal hyper cheerio self and looks at me as if I'm wearing something offensively awful.

"Dear, what are you wearing? It's ghastly, go on I've laid something brilliant for you in your room...go on run upstairs" says Mum.

"Why, what's wrong with these?"I ask her, she smiles like I'm a two year old throwing a tantrum of some kind.

"Darling, you'll never get yourself a boyfriend dressed like that and I want you to meet someone later," she tells me as her party's co-hostess Magnolia Mitchells calls for her from the other room. Merlin, do I want one?

"Amanda, come see the turkey would you, oh hello Minnie when did you get here? Come on Amanda," says Magnolia and drags my mother away from me not giving me a chance to answer her question. Thank Merlin.

I have just seen the worst thing anyone could ever possibly wear and my mother thinks my normal robes were ghastly because as far as I knew, I was wearing a bloody carpet.

"My-little-Minnie," said Magnolia Mitchell's husband, Derek Mitchell

"Uncle Derek," I say in a fake way, not really my uncle someone I'm forced to call uncle as he gropes my ass and asks me the question dreaded by all single people both wizarding and muggle alike.

"So, how's your love life?" he asks as he pours me a drink and smiles.

"Super, Uncle D" I tell him smiling like a bloody porcelain doll, which I am absolutely not.

"Haven't got a bloke yet, eh?-" he says as all like can do is smile, I should have hexed him with my wand.

"You career girls-need to find someone Minnie-we're running out of time tick-tok -tick-tok" says Magnolia apparating from the kitchen next to her husband.

"Bollocks to you, just because you can run on the pin money your perv husband gives you doesn't mean I can too...you stupid, stupid cow," I tell Magnolia and the whole room looks at me aghast and I walk out of the party with my head held high. Maybe not, but that doesn't mean I didn't think it.

I walk up to my dad possibly the only sensible one in this room.

"Hello dad, how is it going?"I ask, he smiles

"I wish I was dead," he says kissing my cheek and then lighting a cigar for himself.

"Your mother is trying to set you up with some Divorcee Auror...pretty nasty beast apparently," says dad taking a drag from the cigar. OOO! Not bad, from the back! Ding dong!

"Minnie, Let's see if Albus fancies a nugget," says mum dragging me away from Dad as I see my last year's set up Brandon Houdini talking to my dad about something.

"Albus had a German wife, the little whore went and shagged someone else," says Magnolia walking with me and mum, trying to see where it would go between me and this Albus bloke.

I remember the other day when my mum had called me to ask whether or not I'd be able to make it or not, and of course I had to say yes.

"Do you remember Albus Dumbledore darling, Percival and Kendra Dumbledore's son?" Mum had said her head in the fireplace looking around my messed up flat.

"Umm...hmm..."I had sighed over my cereal bowl which obviously meant that I couldn't for the life of me remember or even know who these people were.

"Yes, well they are coming dear and I want you meet them...it's going to be marvellous darling, alright now I must go, bye-bye dear," she had said and then disconnected the floo. I hadn't even realised she was gone being so busy with my cereal that tasted like cardboard.

As I was walking towards him I noticed my heart beating faster, was this going to be the mysterious mister right? My mum called out to him and he turned and looked at us and he was wearing a green jumper with snowflakes on it, it was jinked to make the snowflakes fall every once in a while.

"Albus, you remember Minerva, she use to play naked in your pool," says Mum trying to remotely remind Albus of my existence.

"Not as such," he replies with a frown on his face.

"Come, Amanda...I think the desserts need to be checked upon," says Magnolia and by trick of communication takes my mother away so I can talk to Albus Dumbledore alone.

"Umm...so what do you do?" he asks me.

"I'm a legal advisor in the wizagnamont but actually work for Fisher's and Melie's," I reply as he nods, truthfully I hate my job especially because I have had absolutely no field work till now.

I didn't ask him for his bio-data, because I knew who he was...everybody in bloody England did, he was an Auror bloke who lead the war to the end of Grindelwald while we all sat on our arses and made merry...gosh you do one thing that helps the society and then every bloody kid on the street knows your name. Wouldn't know because society hasn't done anything for me as yet and so don't plan to do anything back for society either.

"So are you living with your parents for new year?"I ask him, trying to make small talk and he smiled.

"Yes, what about you?" he ask sipping his fire whiskey.

"Oh! No I have a flat back in London and I just came from a party at my friend Rolanda's house, still quiet hung over," I said I thought it'd look cool if he knew I was party person after all he must have been too...having had so many already in his honour, but he made a slight confused and disinterested face and cleared his throat.

"Yes, umm...perhaps it is time to... umm... eat," says Albus and then walks over to someone else to talk to like I was emitting some fatal gas, so it was best to leave me alone and let me die alone.

"Oh look...don't talk to her she's poisonous and neurotic,"

Bollocks I do not need man in life, because I'm perfectly happy already, or so as to think but I'm sure I do not need Albus Dumbledore with his ginger hair and bloody big headed fame in my love life. I'd rather live like I'm now with Rolanda and me as the single sisters since Poppy ditched us with engagement to Alastor Moody.

Conclusion of day: - Do not need fake celebrities in life since life already filled with dilemmas. Must buy new cereal possibly fruit loops. Fantasise of eating all Christmas sweets left in the freezer at home. Also fantasise about not becoming fat and dying alone and then being found ten days later eaten by boggarts and pixes.

AN/- hey, all the credits go to Helen fielding and J. so I haven't done much at all! Hope you like it...if you do maybe you could tell me by reviewing and telling me to write further if you want to read more of it.


	2. Chapter 2

AN/- I don't know how many of you guys read this story and several have because I saw the traffic, anyways I'm enjoying this story a lot so I think I'm going to keep writing...so the only thing you could do is read and review, really guys it's not that hard.

Chapter 2

January 15,

A new year, a new beginning, which means a new diary, must write down new year's resolutions even though I know I might not follow them...

Resolution 1. Will stop buying muggle clothing because I do not need any more.

Resolution 2. Will try and make flat less messy, but will try and mess it up when Rolanda comes by because she I think one is not magic enough if there is no mess to clear out with wand.

Resolution 3. Will try not to crib about job and instead try and be more co-operative at work and read and correct grammar on Mr. Fisher's reports, which will in return gain me a promotion.

Resolution 4. Will stand up for myself and other single people when asked the "ultimate question" and not reply "No, my love life is not that brilliant, now sod off and get me another sherry you little wrench."

Resolution 5. Will not read anymore self help books, because I have decided that I do not need any more help and so shall start reading new book called Help self, out of self help!- by Walburga Droney. Wait! Isn't that same thing...Merlin must cancel resolution 5. But don't feel like because it is first page of new diary...why am I writing this? Why am I writing, why I am writing shit and I did that twice...bugger.

Resolution 6. Will find a suitable boyfriend that will make me happy and feel brilliant and will not try and to formulate a relationship with the following: Perverts, meddle maniacs, commitment phobic's, old men who drink polyjuice potion to become young, young men who drink polyjuice potion and try to look like something they are not, smart-arses, know-it-all's, sex addicts, emotional brain-wits drunkards and especially will not fantasise about one person who contains all the above qualities.

Math Melie`s...arse-hole and labelled sex god. No! must not think about person who I will never possibly obtain as he is my boss and owns company and my pay-roll, which must add is pathetically less and therefore cannot buy more muggle clothes then need, but that is besides point. I remember Melie`s first seeing me at embarrassing office Christmas party where he heard me sing to "dance like a hippogriff"...blimey I think I looked like a hippogriff in little black dress! Now Math Melie`s will never like me...which is good because he is not someone I want a relationship with...right? RIGHT? Merlin, I must be going mad as have started talking to book all of a sudden.

Midnight- have been up think about new year's party and bloody Albus Dumbledore, he was such a prat at party I heard him tell his mother,

"I don't need a blind date, with some random woman who drinks like a fish and dresses like her mother," he had said and then turned behind to find me listening and then made face which said,

"Merlin, didn't your mother not teach you not to eavesdrop on other people's conversation?"

Hmph, bollocks to him...he is such a git...no wonder his cleaver wife left him. Maybe she couldn't handle his , I'm sure she couldn't. Cheers to you Helga, Hilda or whatever the bugger her name is.

January 24

In office.

Was sitting and looking through papers when caught Math Melie`s staring at me from glass office opposite my desk, was moving hands and smiling, smiled back and then turned to look behind and saw Mr. Fisher doing similar actions towards glass office and I looked down feeling like a total idiot.

"Good morning, Mr. Fisher," I say

"Good morning, Jennifer," he replies. Mr. Fisher is Math's partner and greets me with a new name everyday as he freely checks me out whenever he passes.

"I need the papers after you're done ogling at them," says Brenda, slightly senior but thinks she's the boss of me...most of the time I just feel like stapling things to her head!

Ah! Daily call from Poppy to check whether or not I have killed myself over non-existent love-life,

"So we could meet up at 10.30 tonight at the leaky cauldron...it's usually empty at that time, Ro said she'd come too...says quidditch is making her dizzy," says Poppy and I laugh, but as I look up I see Math looking at me curiously, he's at my desk, smiling.

"Well, it was nice talking to you Mr. Jefferson," I say and quickly slam the muggle telephone and look at Math

"Was that Johann Jefferson?" he says smiling, I nod

"The Johann Jefferson... the one that wrote...the law and wizarding?" he asked again, I nod in agreement. What was he getting at?

"The Johann Jefferson who died last year?-Amazing," he says and then walks away to his office again.

Oh bother! Besides he didn't seem to like me anyways, so I think there is no harm done.

10.30 pm- went to meet Poppy and Ro and discussed about past week and screwed up work life...Ro agrees, she thinks she's way too stressed since world cup is coming next year. Humph. At least she likes what she's doing.

"Did you hear about Albus Dumbledore...rich, auror he seems to be extremely gorgeous to digest...though terrible isn't it that his wife left him?—maybe we could give him a shot...I hear he's sitting right there talking to Tom the inn owner," I heard two women say on the table next to ours.

"I need to go," I tell Poppy and Rolanda since I don't want Dumbledore to notice me...because I "drink like a fish". Try and get up steadily since excessively drunk and cannot look straight and of course fall down on floor and laugh like mental.

"Minerva?-"Albus says looking at me with a frown, brilliant I had to fall next to him.

"Merlinshsh! you're Albus Dumbledore... I used to play naked in your pool," I slurp laughing like mental as Poppy and Ro pull me away from Albus and bid him goodbye.

"In your pool!-" I am still shouting outside the leaky cauldron as muggles look at me like a freak.

Conclusion of day – made total fool of self in public...thank Merlin there was no reporter, because then maybe I would be on tomorrow's paper as "Drunken fan throws herself at noble Dumbledore," roll eyes. Do not want to get out from under blanket into bad, bad world ever again, maybe I should just let pixies and boggarts eat me and hope that it won't hurt or will try and act mature all the time and become like mother who bosses everyone she knows around...I think I'll chose latter. Groff!

AN/- hope you liked that more coming up...if you have read or watched Bridget Jones then you know what's coming up but...you won't get the MMAD version anywhere else...so enjoy and review!


	3. Chapter 3

AN/- thanks for reviewing everybody...really appreciate it, so keep reading and hope you'll laugh your head off.

Hey just by the way I promise to check my grammar and spellings better and the I thing was kind of on purpose because I thought it'd make it sound more like a diary but if it's annoying then I'll do it much better. Hope you'll keep reading and reviewing.

February 3

In office

I was late again so had to wear muggle clothes because most of my robes were either dirty or smelt of the stale food...so had put chuck everything in dry cleaning. I had worn short black skirt and white shirt, I thought I looked good, maybe I did because Brenda looked at me strangely...but then again she always looks at me like I'm some sort of oddball, gosh people used to be crazy about me in Hogwarts, when I was quidditch captain why didn't I just join Ro in quidditch dream...bloody job, bloody mother, bloody Math Melie's, bloody Brenda, bloody everybody!

Anyways, I have half an hour till lunch break, so will pretend to work and read some paper but will actually be reading muggle novel...since I have nothing more productive than this.

Was busy reading muggle novel when found inter office owl come and land on my desk with note stuck to its leg, opened it to read and found out it was from Math, it read:

_Dear Minerva,_

_You appear to have forgotten your skirt. As I think is made perfectly clear in your contract to be dressed fully at all occasions._

"Wha-?" I mutter as Brenda looks at me over her paper, I raise my hand to my head as if thinking about a really good solution to the paper that I was hiding my novel in.

Think I'll message Melie`s and see what he has to say to me then.

_Dear Math,_

_I believe my skirt is very much present...but I am appalled by management sizist attitude towards skirt. Thinking of approaching workers union._

Alright let's see what you have to say to this Melie`s?

Noon- Brilliant! Math hasn't replied yet, I'm worried now, what if the previous note was meant to be serious and not his usual flirty remarks to every damn woman he bloody sees ?

Still no reply! I'm very worried think will pass his cabin to see if he's busy.

Oh dear! He isn't what I'm going to do now, it is so obvious that Melie`s has not taken this lightly and well...looking at the amount of time passed between my sending the note and my anxious waiting, I am sure he must have already draft some sort of really long letter of how my mind is not on work and therefore there is no other option but my resignation...Oh dear, if I get fired I'll have to go live with mum and dad again and if I have to go live with mum and dad again that means total loss of freedom which I have gained with total loss of self-respect and heavy rent.

Oh! Bugger, why, oh why did I even write that wretched piece of-

OOO! I have just received another owl from Melie`s

_Dear Minerva,_

_If walking past office was to demonstrate existence of skirt...it has totally failed. Tell me is skirt of sick...because in that case would you mind checking as to how many sick leaves has skirt applied for...since Management ought to know. Give my regards to skirt and please tell it to "get well soon."_

Merlin, this man never stops...I'm laughing now and Brenda who is enjoying her salad looks at me as if I have gone completely mental.

_Dear Math_

_Skirt is very much present, if it was absent then it would have surely sent its grievances to you and since management so keen on bringing skirt down. I would suggest management sick not skirt._

Hah! Reply to this Melie`s

Shit he did...he actually did

_Dear Minerva_

_I don't think we must argue about skirt anymore, since I obviously know that skirt is not present today and so will have to ask you to please write skirts address on your reply back since I would like to send flowers to skirt. I'd also like to do some charity by possibly airing your skirt out for you...maybe you could join us?_

Merlin, he is so good...I think I might have a crush on Math Melie`s...Merlin need to arrange emergency meeting with fellow understanding lot...who will guide me into taking correct decision.

So happy Linda is back from America...she's a legillimens and knows whatever goes on in everyone's mind, she works in a muggle hospital as a psychiatrist and makes a bank full of money every month. I'm so glad that I called her and she agreed to meet Poppy, me and Ro at nearby Muggle cafe` in London.

Night - At cafe`

I was sitting with civilised family (civilised since it doesn't try and set me up with every damn man in the room, unlike family born into)...but cribs about men in general and ask them to sod off!

Told Linda everything that has happened since New Year's... this was what she had to say with obvious inputs from Poppy and abuses from Rolanda.

"Hmm... this Dumbledore chap, where have I heard about him?" Linda asked

"He's that bloody bugger who got rid of Grindlewald for us...personally I thought Grindlewald was hotter" said Rolanda obvious extremely drunk as always.

"Ro...Family place...Wizarding Family Place..."sang Poppy.

"So, i have freedom of speech, don't I?"Slurred Rolanda as Poppy shakes her head.

"Right...right so your mother tried to set you up with the hero of the wizarding world and you don't like him...but someone you do like is this Melie`s chap who is some sort of guy who will screw your life up," said Linda thinking of my problem.

"Yes...yes...exactly, but Albus Dumbledore is nothing more than a sodding prick and Melie`s...well I'm not too sure of what he is," I replied and Linda sighed like she knew the answer and that everything I am worried about is just a stupid self-indulging dilemma...maybe it was, but so what? Doesn't every girl have her own sweet dilemmas where she won't give a shit about the rest of the world?

"Here's what you have to do...men are totally opposite, the more you ignore them the more they want you...so ignore Melie`s for however long you can before he asks you out and I know he will...and don't give shit to Dumbledore he's not even a part of your life...forget about him...I'm sure he's already shagging someone in his big house somewhere." said Linda as I nodded agreeing to do exactly what she had asked me to.

February 8

In office

Have been ignoring Melie`s just like Linda asked me to and it has been working brilliantly...have got to go on some case tomorrow, which is going to be very exciting, will be sitting next to Melie`s since he is fighting the case against ministry. He seems very confident, I am so glad that he called me to be his partner on the case...Merlin this is so exciting, my first ever case which Melie`s says he is definitely going to win because opposition have absolutely no proof or argument, Melie`s says there is going to be after party if we win...yes, I'm going to be best legal fighter in the history of wizarding...just like Judith Thatcher.

Evening-

Very excited for tomorrow and therefore called Linda and asked her for tips about better socialising skills because I urgently need to earn a few as I will be communicating my thoughts with several eminent people at after party tomorrow and so I have to be well prepared.

Linda says there are three ways of acting super social:

1. Introduce a person with proper detail, for example- Lance this is Andy, Andy is a healer and loves helping the needy, Andy this is Lance, Lance is a quidditch star and he loves traveling.

2. Circulate- Don't stay focused on one conversation with one group instead circulate amongst the crowd and try and know what the others are talking about.

3. If stuck in one conversation sneakily get out of the area without anyone noticing or by giving a valid reason, such as: "Oh! I think it's time to eat now," or maybe... "Excuse me, but I think my boss is calling me, it must be very urgent."

To think of it Albus Dumbledore used the "it's time to eat trick" with me, the sly bastard. Well I won't fall for that one again.

Conclusion of day- hmmm... must decrease thoughts about Albus Dumbledore like Linda mentioned and think more about future with Melie`s...imagining wedding maybe Math's speech will be something like this: "Well, we wouldn't be standing here if it hadn't been for Minerva's non-existent skirt," and then everyone would laugh as he'd kiss me and we'd live happily ever after in big mansion and with lots of children and - maybe I should leave dreams and work on reality...sigh...maybe not!

AN/- hope you liked that...more coming...do review makes me want to write more, better and faster.


	4. Chapter 4

A.N /- Okay...here's chapter 4. Enjoy and keep reviewing all of you. Thanks to the guys who already this is revised version of this chapter sorry for the previous glitch.

Chapter 4

February 9

Merlin...I'm so excited about this...I have just entered ministry building with Math and he doesn't look as excited as I'm, I'm a little worried now, no I must be imagining things...but then he looks at me and tells me something that gets my nerves going furiously fast.

"Minerva, I know you have no damn idea about this case but once you sit in the meeting you'll get a hang of things so if I cock up, you'll have to cover for me."

"Hilarious Math," I say rolling my eyes.

"No, I'm serious," he replies as we enter the court room.

Gosh! Thank Merlin I am dressed in court robes...now I won't look like a total fool and beside I don't even know any bloody person in that room...what if I do?

"Alright, Min you ready or what?" says Math, introducing me to the client.

"John Coldsilver this is Minerva McGonagall she's going to be partnering this case with me," says Math smiling like a bloody charmer and making me nod my head to John codswallops or whatever.

"Pleasure," says John shaking my hand.

"Math hasn't loss one case in his career, hope you guys won't lose this one either," said John a little confidently.

"Please settle down," said the chief warlock of the wizagnamot and Math, John and I settle down opposite the warlock's box.

And well—voila! Albus Dumbledore walks in with some other chap and sit down on the other two chairs which were left for the opposition party.

"Alright, we are now going begin the hearing of Mr. Jonathan Coldsilver," said the Chief Warlock as Math got up in super intelligent legal advisor mode while Dumbledore kept staring at him loathingly...hah! Go Math.

"I'm Mathew Melie`s the defendant's advisor, what are the charges?" asked Math.

"Charges are Mr. Melie`s that Mr. Coldsilver was heard to be stealing from ministry stores and selling it off into the black market...now while doing so it was reported that he is one of the prime suspects in a ministry officials murder, as the ministry official, late Jeffery Wales had caught him red handed in his activity," completed the chief warlock yawning as if he'd rather be in bed with his wife or mistress than here.

"I agree my client has been involved in the previous illicit activity you have spoken off my lord and to which my client has already signed a confession and is ready for the punishment prescribed to him but the current allegation is complete rubbish and I would like to see some proof if this is true after all I'm sure the ministry didn't just dream of framing my client...or did they?" finished Math, Bloody hell he was good, would like to be like him.

"Opposition, can you possibly answer the defendant's question?" said the chief warlock even more bored than before.

"Yes, sir there is proof, you see Mr. Coldsilver tried to burn some letters he wrote to his friend after he committed the crime," said the chap who had come with Albus.

John had gone rigid but Math smiled, I suspect a slimy outline in this one...Math burnt those bloody letters! But I can't possibly tell on Math because I'm supposed to be on his side.

The chief warlock shuffled through the letters and frowned,

"I'm sorry but this is absolutely illegible," said the chief returning the 'proof' as Albus's face dropped.

"But—sir you must at least try to consider-what is legible," says Albus jumping off his seat like a jack in the box.

"I would like to just say your honour that if the ministry doesn't have any proof as to what they are talking about, I believe this is just a waste of time," says Math as shrewdly as possible.

"Alright, Melie's, the accused is freed of all charges," says the chief warlock and bangs the gravel dismissing court as Albus tries to console his partner or whatever.

"Alright, then I'll see you in another minute," says John to Math walking up to Albus and the other chap and talking to them like they've known each other since years.

"So, you're looking sexy today," says Math in my ear making me blush his hands instinctively going to my waist. But I remember Linda's lesson... "To be cold ice queen and get what you want."

"Shut up, I'm very busy and important," I say as he laughs letting go of me and John walks up to us again.

"Alright then do you need a ride back to my place?" asks John as if he's some big shot that owns a very big mansion of sorts.

"To your mansion?" asks Math as John nods and smiles, Math pushes me out of the ministry and into John's muggle car. I'm very upset with both Albus Dumbledore and Math because John Coldsilver is a corrupt official and for some reason I wish he had been exposed or that Dumbledore hadn't been so friendly with him. But why do I care?

Finally reached John's mansion which was obviously filled with guest...maybe I should leave, as I do not wish to socialize with convicts...No! Must remember that socialising is necessary as I might have to represent one of those convicts in near future and therefore need to know clients better and after all I have Linda's 3 perfect steps in becoming the most loved socialite.

Bollocks! I hate this place...I have already managed to become disaster of party than happy socialite...and now I feel like a child wishing Mummy would take me home.

Here's what happened that made me look like a total idiot and how I broke all the rules Linda had given me.

Rule No.1- Circulate

Bah! I tried talking to Anthony and Benjamin Douglas from my own firm and of course found their conversation about whether stupefy was an actual spell or not rather boring, so I was just standing there and pretending as if I cared about everything they were talking about and that the next thing I was going to do was pull out a note book and write it down. So looking at my interest in their topic Benjamin turned to me asked, "What do you think?" and I laughed breaking the second rule.

Rule No. 2- Getting out of situation with good reasoning tactics.

This is what I told Benjamin "Umm... do you possibly know where the toilets are?"I asked and ran for it, but I have a feeling Benjamin thinks I have a bad stomach and that dreadful stench that was in the air a little while ago was obviously my doing, anyways I decided to think about something else as I picked up a glass of fire whiskey and strolled towards the middle of the room and dashed into Albus Dumbledore, he looked at me knowingly and possibly smiled too. But instead of greeting him nicely I asked,

"What the bloody hell are you doing here, weren't you in the opposition?"

Albus was very much taken aback with my sudden outburst that he like a mental fool started chuckling...gosh he has a really great smile...No! I must think about Math.

"Well, I was invited by John, you see the thing is that he was never really the accused, but since Jeffery Wales had to be killed—ministry matters—anyways John said he'd act as an accused for a fat sum of money and the ministry agreed—and there you are," said Albus looking at John a little distastefully.

"I don't appreciate people, like John...it's just that I'm here with a friend," says Albus looking over into the crowd near the bar.

"Right, me too," I reply and he looks at me like he looked at John a minute ago.

And then blasted Brenda came and screwed up the last rule that I had possibly managed to save along with a little of my dignity which went with the rule.

Rule No.3- introducing people with correct details

"Anyone going to introduce me?" says Brenda coming in from Merlin knows where her mouthful of cold cuts. Maybe I should have introduced them like this

"Ah—Brenda-this is Albus Dumbledore-Albus is a self absorbed prat and does not care about anyone else but his own snobby arse, he also had a cruel slutty ex-wife, smart girl."

"-Brenda is a fat arsehole bag who spends her time bossing me around,"

Maybe not!

"Anyone going to introduce me?" says Brenda

"Ah—Brenda—this is Albus Dumbledore—Albus is an auror at the ministry...he's won several awards too."

"This is Brenda—she's my work colleague," I say introducing them perfectly, just like Linda's step.

"Hello, Albus...of course I knew you the first time I saw you here," says Brenda shaking Albus's hand and acting all- love me do Albus...I know I love you. Oooo! Not! Slut!

And then Dumbledore's 'friend' comes and worsens the situation tenfold.

"This is Adriana—she's my partner at the ministry," says Albus as Adriana dressed in black dress tries to coil herself around him...Yuck!

"This is Minerva McGonagall—Minerva works as a legal advisor and use to play naked in my backyard pool," says Albus finishing the last sip of his fire whiskey and smiling at me victoriously. The bastard! - And his little snake said this, why that little...

"How odd!" as all I can do is smile like oh well you know how sad my life is...bollocks to all of you.

And Merlin I stood there with Albus in that corner for a while as Brenda acted friendly with Adrianaanananana! As I could hear everything they were saying the little back-biting...

"Lord, Adriana that man is gorgeous," says Brenda looking over at Albus and me.

"Ah—yes Albus-just give me time," smiles Adriana. Humph! So what if her legs are longer than mine. Oh well at least Math thinks I looked sexy tonight.

"Minerva, look-I-"Albus started but I was too busy looking at Math winking at me.

"Right, excuse us Felicia," says Adriana purposely saying my name wrong I could hear Albus correcting her but she just laughed and acted cuddly as he pushed her off slightly.

So I was severely pissed and I was standing in one corner and looking around for possibly a familiar face that wasn't as snobby and demented like Albus Dumbledore and Brenda. Math walked up to me I think he realised it his fault that he pushed me into coming here and so he held my waist from behind and whispered in my ear.

"Sod them all Min, how's about you and me go get dinner in the city away from all these balding rich knob-heads?" says Math but I wasn't sure if I should've let my ice princess demeanour fall but he charmed it off.

"Come on, the least I could do for your skirt is feed it, it looks very pale to me, come on," says Math and the next thing I know he's pulling me out of the room carefully not to be spotted by John, but we crash into Albus and Adriana, Adriana makes a face at me and smiles at Math but Math makes a face at both of them and pulls me with him, the last expression I saw on Albus's face was anger crossed with worry and I knew he didn't like Math Melie`s as much as I did.

In town now and I'm sitting with Math on date in big restaurant next to my flat.

"So, how do you feel about the whole situation with the Bulgarian Ministry—it's a nightmare isn't it?"I asked Math trying to act intellectual.

"I couldn't give a rat's arse Min," Math replies pouring him some more wine.

"Now, look how do you know umm...Dummby—Dumbledore?" he asked.

"Apparently I used to roam around his garden with no clothes on," I say sarcastically.

"Oh! I bet you did," he relied hoarsely

"Ah—What about you?" I ask him.

"Same yea-" he replies making me laugh.

"No-No, I was best man at his wedding-I knew him from Hogwarts-same year-don't you remember? We we're four years older to you?" he replies.

"And then what-?" I ask filling my wine glass as well as his.

"And then-umm- nothing-,"he says hiding something.

"Oh! You don't need to protect him, he's no friend of mine" I say indignantly.

"Oh—well then many years later I made the somewhat catastrophic mistake of introducing him to my girlfriend-I could say in all honesty I have never quite forgiven him," replied Math.

Oh gosh! Albus Dumbledore is a rascal...so happy that I didn't listen to mum and I am not stuck in arm of a complete arse-hole, but here instead eating lovely romantic dinner with Math.

"Gosh! So he's a nasty bastard," I say trying to be more consoling.

"Yes—yes I like to think that," he replied smiling and kissing me over the top of the table.

5 am in the morning sleeping besides Math Melie`s after perfect shag...Merlin I think I'm in love...or at least a relationship I can flaunt.

"Math, what happens at work?"I ask him, his hands in my hair.

"Well—I'm glad you asked that Minerva-you see we work in a legal firm so people come to us for legal advice some of them are convicts and most of them are morons who have enough money to break the rules and then save their skins," smiles Math, making me laugh.

"No, I mean—do you think people will notice us—you know—working together—sleeping together?"I ask him subtly.

"Well—it's just been one night Min, I suspect people with brains would figure out about us...so we don't have to worry," he says kissing me again.

Conclusion of day – Absolutely gorgeous!

Boyfriends gained- 1 and extremely hot! Hah-take that Uncle Derek, I have got love life now.

A.N/- hey guys hope you liked that-lots coming up, hope you'll keep reading and reviewing!


	5. Chapter 5

AN/- hey, hope you liked that, sorry about the late update my internet service providers are real ding-bats anyways...do keep reading and reviewing and just in case you didn't know a revised version of chapter 4 is up sorry about the previous one.

Chapter 5

February 14

Valentine's Day is very interesting since it means different things to different kinds of people for e.g.: To people who are newly smug married it's like an anniversary so if forgotten there is a bad row and might end in bitter divorce...sadly they never forget.

To people who are old and smug married it isn't anything but another February day unless, your partner is just absolutely mad about you at the age of seventy even though he/she has seen your face every bloody day since the past fifty odd years of his/her life-I think that's cute but still they're smug and married a very, very dangerous combination for people unlike them.

To people who aren't smug but married, it means you and your partner have been through the phase the non-married people are going through and that you sympathise with them but don't care awful much anymore since you have a perfect partner. Such people are very few in numbers.

To people like me...it sucks...and the red confetti which is seen in those stores inviting you in, is just a trap to show you how miserable your life is compared to the people who come there as couples cuddling everywhere they find the wretched red confetti and hearts or any such objects related to Love! Pfft!

No letter from Math, not even one message on muggle answer machine. Brilliant! I have gone and broken the most crucial resolution of this year and slept with Math Melie`s even though I warned myself not too. Why Minerva why? Why?

I think I will go to grocery store to buy instant soup packets and chocolate pudding for tonight's dinner since Math obviously has several other things to do.

So was down at grocery store and crashed into Albus Dumbledore and asked him what he was doing here. Gosh! I have to stop meeting him like that.

"I live down the lane," he replies, smiling.

"Oh, I live a few blocks away too," I say, as he bids goodbye and walks out of the store. I wonder what he's doing today...humph! Must be shagging Adriana. I must not care since I have decided to have a perfect relationship with a bowl of pudding and Chang Hue's Chinese soups.

Reached Home to only find Mum sitting on the coach looking around my flat disgustedly.

"Mum? How'd you?—anyways—Why are you down in London?"I ask as calmly as I could, Mum never visits me... Never! So this had to be something serious.

"Is dad alright?"I ask hurriedly.

"Oh! He's fine it's- it's me," she says all depressed.

"What does that mean?" I ask not wanting to know, since every time my mother acts like she has a life stopping crisis, it is just some obscure reason to take a break and visit me and possibly taunt me into cleaning my apartment.

Like last year, she had been down in London; her emergency crisis was her potions cabinet was out of moonstone. Why in the world would your life stop if you didn't have moonstone? Anyways she came down to my apartment and cleaned it for me after a very long lecture and the day after she left I couldn't find my Fletcher and Co. Shoes and they were for 20 galleons and well, she wore them for last year's Christmas party!

"What is mine is your dear," she had reminded me, smiling and well I can't take it when she smiles at me like that so I had to smile back and hug her or something.

Oh well! What now?

"Oh, Minnie—I can't stay in that suburb anymore and with your father acting like the boss of me, I don't think I want to go back there, so I'm living in the city now-do you remember Angelo Isaacs ?" she asks me. I nodded I think I remembered Angelo as my mother's crush since my childhood. I remember Angelo's face very clearly because he had hair on his head unlike my father.

"You're living with Angelo Isaacs?"I ask a little shocked as Mum nodded happily.

"Gosh, mum and what does Dad think of all this?" I ask shocked.

"I don't think I care anymore dear and besides—if given another chance I don't think I'd have any," she replies indignantly.

"What does that mean?"I ask confused.

"Don't say what say pardon dear,-Anyways, what I'm saying is that I've got a job at the daily prophet as a fresh reporter...I get paid well and I think I'm happy," she says smiling.

"Mum-are you telling me that you don't love Dad anymore?" I ask depressed but before my mother could reason with me, the doorbell rang.

"Who is it?" I ask through the intercom.

"Minerva! Who the hell are you expecting on Valentine's Day? It's your boss," says Math from outside.

"Your boss, did he say?" asks Mum getting up from the sofa as I open the door. Math kisses me and walks in, looks at my mum and stop abruptly.

"Well—you seem to have company—if you need me do ring," says Mum obviously offended that I didn't tell her about Math and me and most disappointed because Math isn't Albus Dumbledore.

"Math Melie`s, Mrs. McGonagall, I'm Minerva's new hero," says Math smiling charmingly and shakes my mum's hand, she shakes it back firmly kisses my cheek and then leaves Math and me alone.

"Well—I think she likes me," says Math closing the door behind mum as I roll my eyes.

"You seemed to have been sure that we weren't doing much today," he says looking at the pudding boxes.

"Yes, well, I thought it slipped your mind," I reply.

"Well, it hasn't. Now why don't you get dressed and let Math take you out for din-din," he says kissing my neck as I happily nod, kiss him and run to the bathroom to get dressed.

I love him...yes I love him!

Conclusion of the day - What started off as any other valentine's day has turned out to be something unexpectedly wonderful.

P.S – need to call Mum and sort her story straight

Also need to call Poppy, Rolanda and Linda and tell them about new found love.

March 3

In office goofing around with letters and Math, Math's taking me to lunch to nearby cafe`; he says he needs to discuss something very important. Hmm...I wonder what it could possibly be.

"Minerva! Marry me?"

"Let's have a kid together"

"Minerva, I love you"

"Minerva I want to love you madly,"

"Minerva, I'm dating someone else,"

I must stop fantasizing, since this is making me mental. Oh pfft! I like the third one best!

"Marissa, would you mind editing this speech for me," says Mr. Fisher bringing me out of my trance and handing me a parchment with the worst handwriting since Cher Cole, Brenda's ex-boss, I really wish she hadn't been eaten by hippogriffs, she was quite the lady.

At Lunch

Math has promised to take me on a mini-break. Oh goody! Better start packing since mini-break in two weeks and in a muggle country house in country side...lovely!

I remembered to call mum yesterday, but Angelo received the telephone and started talking to me like he'd known me since years, I bet mum's behind this, possibly to get me on her side...like that's happening. The problem with me and my mother is that I think she'll always wrong and well, she usually is, that is why dad and I try to be the more intellectual ones, I mean come on a job in the daily prophet doesn't need the use of a lot of logic but it's the perfect job for mum since it involves a lot of snooping around in people's lives that are already so messed up that they'd rather kill themselves then live. But I wanted to help my mum see straight and so I called her to see into her messed up life instead of others.

"Really, mum why is this even necessary, if you say you love daddy then why are you living with Angelo?"I ask trying

"Well—it's something I don't expect you to understand, you're just like your father-I need some time off-and Angelo is just a friend," says mum shouting on the phone.

"But this is ridiculous," I say and my mum slams the phone down.

I must visit Dad and check on how he's doing I'm sure he's miserable. Oh! Poor dad.

March 5

I went to visit Dad today since it was a Sunday and not raining for the first time in London. I must remember to get my car fixed since it is in a very bad state. It is so annoying to have to drive these muggle cars, I mean really why can't my dad just open the floo network, I'm not in Hogwarts anymore and there aren't any underage wizards living in the family anymore so what could possibly be the harm in opening the floo system.

"We live in a, muggle suburb," said Dad, when I had, had this conversation with him.

"So what?"I asked rudely and well since I was only fifteen then, they could ground me and treat me like I was daft and didn't understand the ways of the world.

"Daddy- Are you at home?" I open the door with my spare key and walk into the living room but he isn't there, I check the bedroom, but he isn't there either, so I decide to check the backyard and well he is sitting there near the new pool that they just built in the backyard—only Merlin knows for who. Anyways he was reading the days Daily Prophet and his expression wasn't pleasant.

"Daddy-" I call from behind and he turns around to see me and sighs a bit.

"Look at this," he says handing me the day's newspaper.

Now I know what it was that made him so upset. It was mum's first article ever with a picture of her, smiling and waving at us.

The article read:

_A new girl in the city_

_By_

_Amanda McGonagall_

_If you're a new girl in the city of London just like I'm be sure to have a friend at hand...be sure to check out the places like...even some muggle restaurants and cafe`s make a good meal...don't trust many people easily because sometimes people might just hurt you and walk off!..._

I knew the last line was meant for me, but I didn't care because I had to help Dad get rid of his grief. So I decided to drown his sorrow in the finest scotch he had at home, but Dad didn't want to drink he just wanted to talk. Hmm...Maybe I should spend some more time with my parents.

"I can't believe she's run off with that blundering buffoon—this isn't the Amanda I knew-this is cruel—and the whole point of this is useless because I don't even know what I did?" says dad holding his head.

"It's alright Daddy—you can make her jealous by getting a date yourself for the Mitchell's next tarts and vicar's party," I tell Dad as he smiles and nods.

On my way home, in dad's car since mine absolutely rejected to start-so Dad said I could use his if I liked because he wasn't going to use it anymore. Anyways, was on my way home and needed to stop by at grocery store so that I could make something for dinner.

I was inside the store thinking of whether I should buy potatoes or canned beans when I heard commotion outside. It was that mental cat lady shouting her lungs out at someone, when I went closer to the scene I saw that she was shouting at no one but Adriana, Albus Dumbledore's 'friend'.

Here's how the conversation went:

Mad Cat Lady (MCL): You little conniving whore! You...give me back my son.

Adriana: I don't know what you're talking about?

MCL: liar! Help! Police, police! You give me back my son

Adriana: let go of me, you re-!

MCL: #$%^&*

Adriana: let go off me

Adriana pulled her hand out of the mad cat lady's hand but just as she turned the mad cat lady emptied a bottle of smelly water all over Adriana. Adriana shouted as the mad cat lady ran for it her cat running behind her, people were laughing at Adriana, so I had to feel sorry for her.

"Hey, remember me, I'm Albus's friend, I live right down the block you could clean up at place," I told Adriana as she nodded and sat in my car and called someone from her mobile as I bought my groceries and took her home.

At home now and Adriana is in the bathroom since Merlin knows how long, I had to lend her my clothes so she could go home, she said she'd come and collect her clothes later, she seems to be nice, when she's in trouble.

Doorbell, it is Albus Dumbledore, who has come to his girlfriend's rescue-so the one she called was him. Adriana is now decent and perfumed and walks out of my bathroom looking much better than before.

"Thanks," she says snootily as Albus gulps and smiles at me.

"So, are you still going out with Math Melie`s?" Adriana asks me as Albus's face goes red.

"Yes," I reply smiling at Adriana.

"Well, good luck with that I've heard he's one nonconformist," she replied and then strolled out of my flat, Albus tried to say something to me but Adriana called for him from outside.

I was really mad at Adriana, I shouldn't have tried to help her and should have left her outside the store smelling of something I think was pee and let her be laughed at by everyone who passed.

Conclusion of day: Math is not a nonconformist-what the hell does nonconformist mean?-check dictionary- it means rebel or oddball—Math is not an oddball he'd the best boyfriend in the world hmph—Adriana is a slut and wants me to dump Math so she could jump on him and coil around him like she does right now with Dumbledore. Anyways, Math is my boyfriend who I dearly love and he loves me back. Adriana should be killed on the stake...heh heh heh! That's the only way to teach people like her a lesson. Must stop thinking of ways to kill Adriana and think of what I'll wear for the Mitchell's tarts and vicars party were I shall flaunt with my hot boyfriend and show Adriana what an oddball she is. Yes, I shall do that!

A.N/- hey, that's it for now will update whenever possible-exams suck! Don't they? Maybe they should be banned because of mutual dislike-why can't people protest against that instead of fried chicken and oil spills? Anyways hope you liked that. Do review.


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